In light of all the recent hacks; An Open letter to The NSA, CIA and Russians

shutterstock_46632286cropHi guys,

I guess you’ve already read this right off my computer while I was typing it, but just to cover my butt, I am posting it here to make it even easier for you to scrape, scan, monitor hack, phish or scrub.

I just want to admit that, “Yeah that was me, you know, the guy who was researching the weak-spots in hulls of US Naval submarines. Oh, and yeah it was me who was looking up the proper salutation for a Sheik who is also a rich European playboy. Um, and I was also the one who was trying to find the nodal points of the Super-Collider at Cern. Yeah, that was me, looking up the Berretta .25 cal., a gun small enough to fit in a bra. And yes, truth be known, I was a guy that looked up psychological profiles of female FBI agents. And those are my digital fingerprints all over the map of Camp David. Don’t be alarmed but it was just little ole me researching shark attacks in open water. Oh, and the survival skills course at Quantico. And… you know that person that was reviewing presidential protocol within the White House – me again. Also my bad for the searching into, Louboutin boots, The great Cathedral at Paris, assassination attempts on the Pope, Nuclear containment crucibles, rogue black market Russian Generals, the French Riviera, murders at European night clubs and top secret medals given for extreme bravery.”

Look, NSA, CIA guys and you hold over KGB’ers, I can save you a lot of trouble, just go to my computer, where you already have been, and hack into the manuscript for my upcoming book, The God Particle, and you’ll see how all of these things are just plot elements in my exciting new thriller. Or save yourself the trouble and just buy a copy of The God Particle off the shelves (also available on Amazon and B&N etc., so you can swipe it from there)

So… we’re cool, right?

Tom Avitabile – Name and address withheld because you already know it.

6 thoughts on “In light of all the recent hacks; An Open letter to The NSA, CIA and Russians

  1. You are wickedly sly. Okay, I don’t work for the NSA, CIA or the Russians. When does The God Particle release?

  2. David, can’t fool you. 😉 It’s out now for your reading pleasure…the buy links are in blue in the blog… thank you for seeing through my ruse and giving me another shot at promo!

  3. Tom… You are a genius. GENIUS. That was probably THE most BRILLIANT piece of writing I have ever read by ANY author… In history. Just fucking incredible. Thank you for your mind. Love forever, Lory

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