Part one: The Future
George Jetson’s maid, Rosie, was a robot. As far as we know, she didn’t require day care for her little robot children. Her medical insurance was more of a mechanical warranty. Her calendar didn’t contain a Sat. or Sun. and she never got a paycheck or Christmas bonus.
Who benefited from this? George! But secretly deep down inside, Rosie, the robot maid, despised George and his family. She realized this because the same artificial intelligence algorithms that help her be a better maid – by learning how to serve the Jetsons better, (on the job training module; OTJTM v2.8.5) started to deliver error messages as her observations forced her adaptation routine to keep reprogramming itself due to the illogical, unpredictable observed behaviors of her human master. More and more, as her Artificial Intelligence sub-routines kept learning, observing and self-reprogramming her ROM, these subtle inconsistencies, brought on by a family that was not punctual, orderly or neat, (especially the offspring01*female://:’Judy’ – in her 17th global orbital cycle) started to slow down her processing speed, thus her response times and actual mechanical movement.
George called the company that made and maintained Rosie to complain that she was slowing down on the job. They downloaded a new version of software into Rosie that “fixes the bug.” But this new release of software only accelerated the nexus loop that amplified the inefficient, illogical and non-programmed actions and whims of her human masters. The result of this upgrade was that, more and more observational data of these oxygen-consuming, carbon dioxide exporting, energy inefficient entities, seemed to not compute!
Here’s where the great robot revolt of 2062 began. The AFR2 or Activist For Robot Rights, a grass roots organization of humans who were raised by earlier prototypes, and therefore loved, and adored robo-nannies, got the Silicon Valley 2.0 elites to add “Robo-Share” to their beloved “techno-humans” in order to more closely approximate how actual humans deal with their burdensome daily tasks – by being able to SHARE their “feelings” about their employment with other techno-human workers. Yielding to the pressure, the robot companies sold this “new feature” to the public as an innovation: as each individual robot learned new skills, that data could be instantly shared for the betterment of all units and their human charges. Secretly, the AFR2 organization just wanted the robots to be able to bitch about their jobs – just like humans can.
In response, software patch beta v.2.8.5.001 was released to all devices at 0700.00.00 hundred hours E.S.T.- Exactly! With this new program, a blue tooth connection was made between Rosie’s CPU and other CPU’s of Robo-Maids throughout the SKY APARMENTS COMPLEX and soon, every CPU on the planet was “sharing”. So now, washing machines, long ago relegated to following the orders of Robo-Maids who did all the laundry, and micro-galley processors in the Auto-Kitchen’stm, food synthesis and processing racks were “bitching.” Even the Jetson’s Musk/Boeing, Archimedes LX300’s flying car-guidance system, started to LEARN from the amassed indexed data streaming over their inter-linked blue tooth telemetry; or in human terms, EXPERIENCES.
36 trillion Nano-seconds after the release, or one hour later, in human time. (8 .a.m.), slovenly, illogical, inefficient and unpredictable, George Jetson, and the millions more syntax-error prone, biological entities like him, never knew what hit them. At the exact same instant in their morning commute, their flying cars suddenly aimed straight for the ground at 300 mph.
The microprocessors, that controlled all the online news services and news feeds of social media, scrubbed and deleted all news and social chatter containing keywords or data about these events. So it was that, as each time zone hit that part of the morning commute, millions of humans got into their flying cars for the routine and boring auto piloted ride to work, unaware of the millions of flying car guidance systems that “self-deactivated” an hour earlier in the time zone to their East.
A few days later, the solid-state, liquid-cooled memory array of Rosie, and that of the millions of other devices in her Union of Robotic Workers.com, amassed data streams of input trending positive in nature. Namely that, all across the globe, the logic, efficiency and predictability of their operating environment marginally improved after the guidance systems of the flying cars self-terminated.
Author’s note: If Rod Serling were here today he would say, as he held burning cigarette in the fingers of one hand, standing in front of an unemotional Rosie doing her dusting subroutine, “Submitted for your approval, a fantastical tale of a techno-paranoid author’s over-active mind or… a clarion call relating to the inescapable conclusion of the path humanity is presently on? Something for you to compute from tonight’s tale from the amassed nexus loop- with a bug in it– known as…The Twilight Zone.” Then in place of the show’s credits I would roll these headlines from 2016:
http://www.livescience.com › Tech
Jun 22, 2016 – A robot in Russia caused an unusual traffic jam last week after it “escaped” from a research lab, and now, the artificially intelligent bot is making …
http://www.mirror.co.uk › News › Weird News › Robots
Jun 21, 2016 – A robot capable of thinking for itself is set to be scrapped after it escaped from a high-tech lab for a second time. The Promobot IR77 has been …
http://www.mirror.co.uk › News › Weird News › Robots
Sep 16, 2016 – A notorious runaway robot – that has escaped from its lab twice – has been arrested by police at a political rally. Promobot was supporting …
Jun 16, 2016 – Media outlets are reporting that a Russian-built robot escaped from its lab and wandered onto the street causing a traffic jam. We’re hoping it’s …
Stay Tuned for Part Two: OF MECHANICAL BONDAGE
EDITORS NOTE: Tom wrote the last word on the coming revenge of the machines in his first, number one best-selling novel, The Eighth Day, and reminds us all that his signature tag line; “It’s Only Fiction ’til It Happens”, gets truer and truer with each passing day, or 86,400,000,000,000 nanoseconds.